Christian scripture presents two central commandments:
(1) total love of God, and
(2) love of neighbour as oneself.
Note on (2) A Catechism reads, "Q. But why is there no commandment of love to ourselves? A. Because normally we love ourselves naturally, and without any commandment. No man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourishes it and cherishes it. Ephes. 5:29".
At first glance these can appear to compete: loving God with all one’s heart, soul, mind, and strength seems to leave no remainder for loving anyone else. However, within Christian theology, the tension is resolved not by dividing love between God and neighbour, but by ordering all love toward God alone. On this reading, God is the sole object of ultimate love, while love of neighbour is derivative and God-referenced. Scripture claims that the two commands are the same (1 John 4:7).
Note that they are not inspirations but commands - they imply authority. The main thing with both is obedience.
The Core Claim
Christianity holds that total love belongs to God alone, and that the neighbour is not loved as an independent end, but in reference to God’s will. Love of neighbour is therefore an expression of obedience to God rather than a parallel or additional object of love.
Are the Two Commandments the Same?
Some Christian interpretations claim that loving one’s neighbour just is loving God. However, this cannot mean that love of neighbour replaces or renders unnecessary explicit love of God. Scripture repeatedly distinguishes the two commandments and ranks love of God as the greatest. If loving neighbour were sufficient in itself, this hierarchy would be unnecessary.
The more coherent Christian position is that the commandments are inseparable but not identical. Love of neighbour flows from love of God and depends upon it, but it does not exhaust or substitute for it. Loving neighbour without reference to God would not fulfill the first commandment.
Different Senses of “Love”
A key to resolving the apparent contradiction is that “love” is not used in the same sense in both commandments.
Love of God involves total self-giving, exclusive devotion, and ultimate valuation.
Love of neighbour involves acting toward others in accordance with God’s will.
This distinction is consistent with biblical usage. “Love” in legal and covenantal contexts (such as Leviticus) refers to loyalty, obligation, and action rather than emotional attachment. Jesus’ restatement of the commandment through the Golden Rule supports this behavioral understanding: love of neighbour concerns how one treats others, not how one feels about them.
Thus, Christian love of neighbour does not require affection, admiration, or emotional identification. It requires conduct aligned with God’s commands.
Love of Neighbour as Obedience
Jesus’ teachings consistently frame service to others as service to God (“whoever receives one such child in my name receives me”). This does not collapse neighbour into God, but rather shows that actions toward others gain their moral meaning from their orientation toward God.
Accordingly:
God alone is loved directly and totally.
Neighbours are treated well because God commands it.
The neighbour benefits, but God remains the ultimate object of love.
Love of neighbour is therefore instrumental but not insincere: it is real love in the Christian sense because love is defined primarily by obedience and self-giving, not by emotion.
Agapē and the Priority of God
The Greek term agapē used for both commandments denotes self-giving love oriented toward what is judged to be good. In Christian theology, what counts as “good” is defined by God. Therefore, loving oneself or one’s neighbour means treating them in accordance with God’s purposes, even when this conflicts with natural inclinations or affections.
Because God must be loved more than self or neighbour, any love for others must be subordinate to, and regulated by, love for God. This ordering explains why love of neighbour cannot be autonomous or unconditional in the same sense as love of God.
Not “Putting God First,” but Loving God Totally
The first commandment does not merely require prioritizing God among other loves; it requires total devotion. This implies that all actions—including acts of kindness—are done ultimately for God rather than for their own sake. Helping others is therefore not grounded in the independent value of persons, but in obedience to God’s will concerning them.
From within Christianity, this is not a defect but a defining feature: God is the ultimate moral reference point, and human value is understood through relation to Him.
Conclusion
Within Christian theology, the two commandments do not contradict because they do not operate at the same level.
Love of God means total, exclusive devotion and ultimate valuation.
Love of neighbour means acting toward others as God commands, for God’s sake.
The neighbour is loved because of God and for God, not alongside God or independently of Him. Christianity therefore does not teach two equal loves, but one absolute love (God) and one derivative love (neighbour). The commandments fit together precisely because love of neighbour is not an addition to love of God, but an expression of it.
Jesus embraced little children saying, "Whosoever shall receive one of such children in my name, receiveth me: and whosoever shall receive me, receiveth not me, but him that sent me" (Mark 9:37).
The apostle Paul claimed that Paul was alive no more but Jesus was alive in Paul.
APPENDIX
Suppose you submit yourself to God and love him first and above all people. Hypothetically then hurting people is better than hurting God - if there is a choice.
To love God like that implies subconscious and latent disdain for people.
Jesus said that we must put God's ways first. So God has to tell us how we are supposed to love other people.
It is loving them to treat them as God wants them treated - be it stoning them to death as God commanded in the Old Testament. It is only by luck if he does not command that any more but though he might not bring that back, we are meant to be ready to do it.
Or approving of people going to Hell forever for dying in unrepented idolatry or adultery.
It is Christian doctrine that you are better to catch a physical disease that torments you for all eternity than to commit a sin such as adultery! Sin to them is the greatest evil.
Luke 17:7-10 (ESV) - 7 Jesus said, "Will any one of you who has a servant ploughing or keeping sheep say to him when he has come in from the field, ‘Come at once and recline at table’? 8 Will he not rather say to him, ‘Prepare supper for me, and dress properly, and serve me while I eat and drink, and afterward you will eat and drink’? 9 Does he thank the servant because he did what was commanded? 10 So you also, when you have done all that you were commanded, say, ‘We are unworthy servants; we have only done what was our duty.’” This implies that only what God does in the person has value and you love the person not for themselves but for God.
APPENDIX KAREN ARMSTRONG
Karen Armstrong notes in her book Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life page 169 that love your neighbour as yourself is to be found in the book of Leviticus and is therefore a legal rule. It is not about feelings. "Leviticus is a legal text and any talk of emotion would be as out of place as it would be in a Supreme Court ruling. In the ancient Middle East, 'love' was a legal term used in international treaties: when two kings promised to 'love' each other, they pledged to be loyal and to give each other practical help and support - even if this went against their short-term interest". I would add that the importance given to the impersonal commandment implies that feelings of love are unimportant.