Jesus it seems prayed a lot. He asked others to pray for each
other - so he didn't think the quality of his own prayer was all
that mattered.
Quality not quantity should matter. Why?
God values sincerity over repetition: A heartfelt, meaningful prayer reflects true intention, whereas numerous prayers without devotion may lack depth.
Quality shows genuine connection: Prayer is about relationship, not numbers; God looks at the authenticity of your heart.
Personal responsibility matters: Each person’s prayer is unique and cannot be replaced by someone else’s; your need or request is yours to present.
God knows intentions: He understands the true motives and feelings behind prayers, not just the quantity.
Faith and earnestness carry weight: A single earnest prayer can have more impact than countless perfunctory ones.
Intercession doesn’t negate personal prayer: Even if others pray for you, God still values your own communication and trust expressed through prayer.
Quality leads to transformation: Thoughtful prayer can change your heart, perspective, and actions, not just seek external outcomes.
God is not transactional: He doesn’t operate on a quota system; His response depends on the relationship and sincerity, not numbers.
THE ARGUMENT
As God is seen as the maker and source of all you have, prayer is just an outgrowth of that. Religious doctrine is that if you recognise this and only seek the will of God, then we describe your response as prayer. Prayer is being aware of your dependence on God. This may be expressed in saying prayers, but prayer is really what is in your heart. Prayer in words only expresses a prayer that is already happening. So, prayer is essentially seeking, affirming, and continuing a relationship with God. It is a two-way process. The two ways are God's offer and your accepting.
The idea that prayer is only about learning about yourself redefines prayer. That is not prayer. You do not need to call that prayer.
It may be correct that Jesus did not advocate a form of prayer that gives orders to God like a servant. But given that Jesus said God was about service, that “what you ask you shall receive,” and gave an example of a person who pestered a judge to get what they wanted as a model of prayer, it is hard to be sure. Read Luke 18.
Religion says there is a difference between confident prayer and arrogant prayer. But the fact remains: this is hair-splitting. Nobody says God always gives what you ask. Plus, many have an experience that shows them there is nothing there. If God is there, then this experience is a lie, and He creates it. So, prayer in the real world does nothing to show that a relationship with God is happening. If you ask for a relationship with God, then prayer may not even deliver that. Clearly, this message of prayer doing you good is setting you up for disappointment. Anyway, you would not be asking unless you felt enough that something would happen. So this confident prayer is arrogant, after all. A feeling is no indication of what is to come. Arrogance breeds arrogance, and you will get hurt. And what about how you are influencing your friends who pray with you? Hurt will come.
As for petitions to God, it seems to be very cruel if you are an ailing parent who needs to get well to care for your children, and nothing happens. But it is cruel if there is no God to answer, or if there is a God who does not answer, for He does not care.
Also, Jesus said when we donate, we should avoid letting anybody know and used the image of, “Don’t let your left hand know what your right is doing.” Yet people want you to know they pray for things and for the less well-off. That is what church is for.
But that is about more than just trying to keep prayer private. It says prayer is personal to you and God by definition. So, prayer is private by definition, for it is about God. And it is protected by a rule: "Keep it discreet."
Few do really sacrificial good. Mothers dying for their babies are forced by their hormones. Chemicals causing attachments make men sacrifice for their wives, children, and their people. The Bible says the human heart lies to its owner above all things, so you can swear you are being about the other person and still be wrong, or less right, than you think.
Jesus even said that doing great things for those who love you is suspect. And what about doing it for those who you think can love you or will? That won't be any better.
To think that others are that interested in your goodness is selfish. To think a God who is perfectly good, all-knowing, and the maker of all is, is off-the-scale selfish. Jesus said it is wrong to let the person beside you know what good you do if you can be secretive. He said God will see and reward you. If you think God is watching, then we have Him advocating that you exchange one form of virtue-signalling for another.
And Jesus was very pointed. He said not to display your generosity to the poor like the scribes and Pharisees do. But the Romans were doing that too. And ordinary people and the rich were doing it. It was not just scribes and Pharisees. Is a man like that really a true authority on spirituality?