FOREWORD
Some say evil is just a lack of good, while others believe it’s a real, tangible force. Yet both agree it acts like a small crack—seemingly minor but actually dangerous. So how can anyone honestly say, “Love the sinner, hate the sin,” when that “sin” is like a tiny tear in a ship’s hull that can eventually sink the whole vessel?
If you overestimate the sin, the sinner suffers unfairly. If you underestimate it, you risk letting damage grow unchecked. Striking the right balance is impossible.
The offer of God's forgiveness seems to be a distraction from that. He supposedly tells us to forgive sinners when the idea of sin gets in the way of that. His own mercy then is dubious.
THE ARGUMENT
If you talk about somebody who you don't really know, then be sure you are really talking about what you want them to be and what you want to think. In other words, your chat is about yourself despite how it sounds. If God is about what you want to think, he is not what he is; then why invent a God who takes sin seriously and judges you as capable of little else? His commandments are burdensome. Actually, you get around that with a deity who is generous with forgiving and also healing. Adoring a God who is that stupid is a sign of wishful thinking.
Most of the notions we have about people are based on us thinking
what we like about them and imagining that we know them. The truth
is, what we think we believe and know about the huge majority of
people we know is really what is inside us, and we think it applies
to them too. Religion says that God is found and expressed in
others. So, God is a projection in its own right. And God is a
projection acquired through others too.
That is the case closed already. Seeking and saying you have got
forgiveness from God is suspect. It is too much about you. It is
self-serving. But let us go on.
Christians say that God puts the present and the future first, so he
will forget the past if you ask him to. That means others have to
forget it too if they know he has forgiven you. And they only know
if you tell them. That gives you too much power if you are an
untrustworthy person.
Also, God, when he is let into the situation, heals the harm done.
The victims have to let him, and you have to forgive yourself.
Teachings like that lead to a bad attitude towards the victim who
does not forgive. It is victim-blaming.
As you are God's rebel prodigal child, he will forgive on request, even if your prayer for pardon is not very firm. And he forgives forgotten sins. Every sin eventually becomes one of those. You cannot detail exactly why you did something harmful.
And as for the threat of going to Hell for unrepentant sin, God knows that if you die and had no time to repent, he has to make allowances for that and show mercy and save you from Hell. And surely he forgives those who lose their memory or who undergo the dying process and who cannot really get into the right frame of mind to count their sins and renounce them?
These things show that the argument that God is not a projection when he condemns things we like is wrong. We get around it. All people want a strict morality, and a hard one that they can skirt around.
A harmful person may claim that God has forgiven them.
That is harmful in itself, for the burden of proof is on them to show any thinking and reasonable person that he probably has, and nothing is presented.
And it is more than just inherently harmful. The toxic, risky results are enough to condemn it.
They have proven that they can harm.
They might be looking for forgiveness in order to feel okay or feel protected to make another attempt at harm.
They might be using God to make others feel safer about trusting them and to feel obligated to forgive, for God has done it.
There is a subtle pressure on the victim and others to think, “God is changing this villain. Who am I to risk damage, to be a hindrance, by failing to affirm that?”
Religion says evil is parasitic on good, so that makes it hard to discern, and also it hides itself and justifies itself, which makes it even harder. It also says that evil is a mystery. Yet it says that the problem of evil—how an almighty and good God can tolerate evil—may not matter enough to count as strong evidence against God’s love or competence—or his existence. Should we then err on the side of caution and assume that evil is worse than it looks? Yes, if we want to say God is bigger than any evil or mistake. And while God's love is applauded, the fence keeping the wolves out is weakened.
If God is bigger than us and has forgiven and is healing, then that is the main fact. But we don’t know if he really has done it. The harmer gains from lying that God is healing. Also, Christian faith argues that God is full of surprises, and so you think he is doing nothing when he is doing a lot. There is too much freedom there for the harmer to use God to get advantages and potential benefits from those who feel compelled to respect what God has supposedly done. They are tacitly and often explicitly told that they are hindering God’s healing by refusing to affirm this person as forgiven and as part of the process to amend.
It is strange that those who object to Self ID in gender affirm Self ID as forgiven. To say you are forgiven by God is to make forgiven your identity, a core part of who you are. Christians identify as "forgiven sinners." This leads to further manipulation. It sends the message, "I know I hurt you, but by questioning if I am a forgiven sinner, you are attacking who I am. You are attacking me."
Being suspicious and/or looking for evidence that the person has changed by God’s power reminds the Christian of how Jesus said, “You shall not test the Lord your God.” Also, he said that he gave his blood for the forgiveness of sins, which further bullies victims out of respect for his death to strain to see his forgiving and transforming power in the bully. So is there anything to be gained by asking God for forgiveness and saying you have won it? Take a look.
THE SPIRITUAL BENEFIT:
Christianity would say that we should believe this not because the
person is reliable but because God is. The Church and this person
claim that the power of God to change and better them has been let
in. Christianity is simply enabling manipulators and helping to
disable the victims.
THE SECULAR BENEFIT:
They would also say forgiving or thinking you are forgiving helps as
well, even if there is no God to forgive. So God or not, getting
forgiven is worth the effort. Many say that even if it does nothing
at times, it is still best to do it and hope for the best. They say
the principle is allowing good to come in, and if it does not
happen, it happens, and that is just the way it is.
What benefit matters most? Clearly the second. But it cannot be recommended. It is good that the religious threats are removed, and it is about stopping a harm done to you from doing any more damage. Moving on and forgiveness are not the same thing. The former means that whether you forgive or not, you are not gripped in the pain of what was done to you.
A good person does good even if they believe in God and reason that if there is no God it pays to be good anyway. Throw out the God stuff in relation to forgiving and healing. Why are the cruel saying they know they are pardoned? They do not. They only have feelings and guesses. There is too much scope here for imagination. Why are they claiming? Guessing and feeling is not being forgiven. They want to fool themselves and others to consider letting themselves be fooled.
Summary Conclusion:
The idea of a forgiving God often serves to distract from the real, ongoing harm caused by sin or wrongdoing.
Claiming God’s forgiveness can be self-serving, giving harmful people undue power and protection.
Forgiveness from God is often used manipulatively to pressure victims and others into accepting and trusting those who have caused harm.
Religious teachings about forgiveness can lead to victim-blaming when victims don’t forgive.
God’s forgiveness is portrayed as unconditional and forgetful of sins, making accountability questionable.
The concept of forgiveness as a core identity (“forgiven sinner”) can be used to silence criticism and avoid responsibility.
Spiritual claims of forgiveness often lack evidence of genuine change and enable manipulators rather than protect victims.
Secularly, forgiveness or attempting to forgive can have personal benefits, but forgiveness and moving on are not the same—moving on means freeing yourself from pain, not necessarily forgiving.
True goodness and healing do not depend on divine forgiveness; claiming to be forgiven is often just feelings and guesses, not proof of pardon.
Ultimately, the “forgiving God” concept risks letting harmful behavior continue unchecked under the guise of mercy.